Parenthood often necessitates a relationship after divorce | Atlanta ...

Changes in lifestyle, finances, emotions and relationships occur simultaneously as couples work through a divorce. After the sometimes-quarrelsome division of marital property and the settlement of support and child custody issues, a divorce decree can feel like a goal that signals a fresh start for Georgia residents.

Divorce changes the legal relationship between two people without necessarily severing all connections. Future interactions between divorced spouses without children can be limited or altogether dissolved. The same is not true for many divorced couples who have created families. Ex-spouses, who are also parents, retain a common and legal bond through shared children.

Parental interactions following divorce were once minimal. Traditionally, the wife received primary custody and the husband's role was that of a visitor. Today's trends move toward high-involvement co-parenting as part of an evolution of familial and societal attitudes about the post-marriage lifestyle and parental roles in general. At the same time, there are cases in which only one parent should have custody, such is the case in relationships involving domestic abuse.

Staying married is optional. Parenting is a lifelong role, which divorce alters but cannot erase.

Active, shared parenting requires former spouses to create a working relationship in the wake of their split Marriage and divorce advisors say this is not the easiest transition for some spouses who equated divorce with absolute freedom.

Currently, many fathers are challenging old primary custody and child support models. Dads in the past may have been relegated to occasional visitations, but many fathers seek a more prominent role in their children's lives. While experts say children benefit from co-parenting, many divorcing parents disagree about how that goal can be accomplished.

Critics say family courts have been slow to adapt to the way American families have changed. New options, like mediation, ease some of the conflicts between divorcing parents, but the legal system often still enforces outmoded gender expectations.

Above all, divorcing parents should understand that preserving the best interests of their children after divorce should be the primary goal of crafting a child custody arrangement. By having this shared goal, ex-spouses may begin to determine how their post-divorce relationship will work. In the event that a couple cannot come to an agreement defining what is best for their children, they should know that a family law professional could help them resolve their differences and create a plan to raise their kids successfully.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Why Divorce Doesn't Always End A Relationship," Vicki Larson, May 21, 2012

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